Ebbs and Flows

A person I consider a kindred spirit - one whom I've really only connected with via blog, facebook and the rare ballet class - recently posted about the loss of her childhood friend.  That friend you've had since junior high/high school, the one you had in your wedding, pictured having your kids grow up with, living near and "growing up and old" together.... that friend. 

Her loss was tremendous - unimaginable to me - but really struck a chord.

We all have one or several friends like that - for me, mine has lived far away for many years - since high school, yet we've been able to remain close as we've navigated the many peaks and valleys of our lives and our relationship.  Or at least I thought we had.

I've realized in the last few months that years and miles apart do not a friendship make.  You can "say" all you want that the bond holds dear regardless of the distance and time, but in truth, the relationship dies due to failure to cultivate - you just convince yourself it hasn't because "we're close no matter what."  When the rubber meets the road, the friendship withers underneath life's true tests.

I think for some time now we've put our friendship in a glass case on a pedestal where it stayed protected in all it's protection.  Our friendship was more of a badge, medal of accomplishment, than it was a nurtured and fruitful part of our lives.

While thank God I've not suffered the true and permanent loss of a friend - I'm mourning the loss of someone I've always considered a sister.  It was probably inevitable given where we are in our lives - but nonetheless very sad... disappointing, amplified by the upcoming birth of our second child - a person she may never meet.

I'm tremendously blessed by the many friends and family members I do have, I don't want to come off as ungrateful - I guess I just wasn't ready and/or expecting this turn of events.  While she may feel as though this is simply one of the many "Ebbs" in our relationship - her actions have made it quite clear where we stand.

If I gained anything from reading of the loss of one's friend, it is that life is too short to take people for granted and expect them to always "be there" and to be what you expected of them.  Be thankful for the time you have and remember it fondly when that time is over. (It's that whole - people are in your life for a season and a reason thing).  Go out and hug a friend today (ha!).