Part I - The beginning of the Dark Ages

Depending on our mood phrases like "the dark times," "my soul vacation," "the time that should not be named," have become commonplace monikers for one of the hardest and saddest times in our lives together.  The irony is that these "dark days" have brought us great light and countless blessings.

Pat and I fell into a trap all too common for married couples - the black hole of complacency.  We repeated many behaviors year after year slowly chipping away at what we now realize was an already unstable foundation.  While Pat and I had taken premarital classes, attended many bible studies and courses on marriage and sought counseling on many occasions - we were putting our "self" first and ultimately any lessons learned would fall by the wayside and we'd end up back in a bad place.  We had a shed FULL of tools for building a successful relationship - but we did not use them.

What kept us together in the past was a combination of Pat's naivety (or supreme optimism that things will always be okay) and my tenacity - determination to NEVER end up.... well.... where we ended up.

My hindsight analysis of the situation is:
1. I was tired of fighting.  I gave up.
2. I became prideful - refusing to see myself as part of the problem and/or the main problem.
3. I distanced myself from God and from any Godly people I knew would hold me accountable.
4. I allowed myself to fall into a pit of sin and self gratification.
5. I let my worldly desires take hold and lead my heart.

The dark ages began with me requesting a separation from Pat and declaring my marriage "over."
The miracle begins with how God brought us back to where we are.